Hello, how are you doing? I want to introduce myself; I am your fear. I am the one occupying 60% of your thoughts on any given day. I am sure you recognise me from some of those sleepless nights reliving the safe decisions you made, or every time you chose the path well-travelled, or every-time you found yourself wrapped in the world of what-ifs. I’m there right inside at the very core of your being.
That feeling which tells you that you can’t go on, you’d be better off without it, why the fuck you got into it – it is all me. And let me tell you this I am afraid too, scared to death about things that you went through, worrying all the time about not causing you enough worry so that you’d be safe. Worried about you taking risks, about you failing to achieve what all you set out to because girl you always aim for the skies don’t you! I am afraid that you’ll fail and that you won’t survive this failure. That you’d finally reach that dark place, we hung out at precipice of and this time you’d actually go in.
I know you know life has been kind to you, by most definition your life is pretty fulfilled right? I am worried, you’re aiming for so much, that you are being greedy, in asking for more, in striving for more. That you are just setting yourself for more things that could go wrong.
And you know what else I am worried about? You are going to die tomorrow, and there will be nothing people will remember you by except someone who wanted to be somebody. What if all that’s left of you is that you were never good enough?