We are 5 months!!!!! yeah we spent a good 152 days on this earth :)!!!! I have been around, just post mom dad leaving all hell has broken loose!! I have no idea where allthe time goes!!!! 😀
Bubs is a hand full, he likes to talk play and is extremely fond of the idea is that mommy is a milk vending machine, a transporter and a poop cleaner rolled into one! 😀 Also it is his firm belief that napping is for babies with weak heart! So even though our eyes get droopy and watery with sleep we will not sleep at all! it is very very tiring for mumma!!! because she has to be up and entertaining from 7 in morning till 8 in night along with other chores!!!
in other milestones we rolled over!! both ways !!! ON 14th may BR was trying to tilt his head to look at his dad gardening and just ended up taking momentum and turning all the way on his tummy. Though off late i m sure it was fluke because he hasn’t done it ever again! he can turn to his both sides but does not go the complete way!!!Though he has started to enjoy his tummy time a lot more. And sometimes when he gets very tired, he just goes back on his back on his own!!! We have started mouthing too, so anything and everything we can get our hands on gets in to our mouth and yeah along with transporter and poop cleaner mom is a chew toy too!! i have been chewed on multiple times .. this tiny ball of human will one day grow teeth!! it seems unbelievable!
BR smiles and giggles a lot, it sometimes seems like a third party thing still. Like its all happening in a dream. This happy cute bundle of joy cant be real!! i love it when he sleeps on me, i love the smell and the tiny hands hugging me .. love the way the tiny hands hang on to my neck. We are still following gentle parenting and are into feeding on demand, babywearing and well in gen letting baby ritz be the boss. And yes we moved to cloth diapers!!!!!! That was a big deal for me, thankfully BR is not a pooper! we get damaged once in few days i am lucky that way 😀 We started with one AIO, one pocket, one cover and one fitted. I think i have found my peace with pockets and AIOs, in last month my stash moved form 4 diapers and 6 inserts to 21 diapers and god only knows how many inserts!! We are big on flats too. Though we are yet to move away from disposables in night, I did get couple of charcoal bamboo inserts and mostly will try and see if i can move aay from disposable soon. I bot a disposable pack with wetness indicator just to see how much does baby ritz pee in the night so that i can figure of we can go all the way w/o changing diaper in the night. We are going through sleep regression and i want to reduce baby ritz’s waking up as much as possible
I have been really really bust off late, i dont now what am i doing wrong but i seem to be having a melt down every other day. This when the hard parts like teething, sickness, separation anxiety has not started yet. We have just hit sleep regression and the regression is going on and on and on, baby ritz has been getting up every hour in nights for feeds.. So its like feed burp put down go back to bed, drift to sleep and then the moment u hit the sweet sleep spot smack up again :(. PLus my periods are back, i really really hoped that my dearest aunt flo will not visit me soon, but not only did she visit she has been a real bitch offff late .. i bleed with painful cramps every 15 days ..MY OB gyn has taken the wait and watch approach as hormonal treatments can cause issues with BM supply. I have been surviving on dolo/ combiflam for teh tough days. Lets hope this is the last of painful cycle and it settles down by June as my gyane expects it to!! Otherwise i am not sure how will i manage because i definitely want to feed BR till he self weans.. lets see how it goes ..
Weeeowee that was a long one! Leaving u with my first fluff photo!
Pista has a fever :((. Yesterday after his morning walk he was looking a little tired, he didnt even eat the semi solids man ritz kept for him. I thought may be its the heat, yesterday was a tough day with baby ritz refusing to nap at all so i was just consumed in that the whole day. I am a tad guilty of ignoring pista, i honestly thought he is in one of those contemplating moods that he sometimes gets into. In evening when man ritz came he didnt even budge and come out of his room. I was having a tough day and in tears because i was tired and baby ritz was very very cranky so MR took baby ritz away to gimme a break.usually this is cue for Pista to meow the house down because he thinks that when MR is free pista has sole propriety on him, but i couldnt hear a sound!!!
When i went to check whats the matter i realized he felt warm, i hugged him cuddled him and got him tothe living rooom, still No reaction 😦 Then i opened a new cardboard box of amazon which is guaranteed to get his ATTENTION but guess what my baby ignored it!!!
Today morning MR dragged him to the vet and my poor baby has fever 104.5 :(. Doc is suspecting infection, yesterday one of the strays while playing with him kinda bit him, so he has been given an injection, hope he recovers quickly. I am feeling so guilty, new found human motherhood has been so exhausting that i almost dont give any TLC to my elsder one. I hope he feels well and i swear from now on mommy will find some exclusive pista time.
Omg its a year since my the cycle started!!! Last year today i went in for monitoring and one if those many follicles was baby ritz in makin!!!
Me:Good morning Neelu
Me: are u hungry
Me: Ok lets feed u
1 hr later
Me: Are u still hungry
neel: (after a smile) ungaaaa
1 hr later
me: Are u hungry
Me: Shall we Sleep
Neel: scream fist fight scream
Me: Enough sleep time cue begin rocking/patting
Neel: more screams
Me: sleep na baby
Neel: getting tired, now whimpering
Me: good boy
Me: Okie hungry again? here (offering boob)
Neel: drinking noisily as if hungry from decades
repeat loop 5 times
me: Done?, now can v sleep
Neel: *silence* looking around
me: sleep off neel
Me: okie let me help u begin rocking/patting/singing
Neel: hmmm eyes drowsy
Me: I love u
Neel: aooooooo(almost as if saying I love u too)
So yes.. this is one of those posts which can make u possibly hate me. I have been debating about writing this post for a long time but since this is the only place where i can write any truth well so be it. I would totally understand if u unfollow me after this or I get trolled but here it goes
Sometimes i hate my baby, sometimes i detest his very presence in mylife. I detest that motherhood has no holidays, no sick leaves, no time outs. No day where u get up in morning peacefully and just go back to bed curling up with a book.. And i hate that. I have run into difficult times with baby ritz, i think we hit sleep regression or its just growing up phase. My baby wont go down for naps/sleep. I feed him, change his diaper and feed him some more ideally he would doze of after this but off late he doesnt. Somedays he runs on god knows what energy but some days the lack of naps make him super cranky and he fusses the whole day. Yesterday and today were his fussy days where he constantly whines into my ears and essentialy head bangs or hits me with his tiny fists to show his frustrations. There have been times when all i could hear thru the day were wails in my ears much after it has stopped. I cant deal with loud noises, i cant take people screaming the TV runs at a super low volume in my house. The constant wailing is taking its toll,the other day this constant rigamorale of pat – sleep- put in crib- awake- wailing back to feed- calm down- pat – sleep the cycle all over again took 3 hours before baby ritz was out and sleeping. Some days i spent the whole day trying to repeat this because baby ritz keeps getting up after 20 mins – 30 mins of nap. I am unable to carry on, despite having help t home to do the household cleaning and cooking. I spent 4.5 years trying to get here, countless cycles, countless medications to get here and all i can wonder is did i make the lright choice? am i really cut out to be the nurturing mom i thought i was? The other day when screaming got too much i shouted at baby ritz, some days i patted him little hard.. my 3.5 months old baby? smiley happy baby on rare occasions? I have bot colorful toys playgym to play and have fun but all i get is a cry baby who cries pretty much all the time and fusses the other times… be it colic. purple patch, UTI and now sleep regression.. each month i console myself that i will eventually get the giggles and cuddles on regular basis but..And it kills me as a parent, makes me feel so so inadequate, makes me hate myself and hate the world around me.. Its like i am stuck in a rut and there is no way to get out of it. I am a horrid parent and my biggest fear is my kid will grow up with smae insecurities like i did, will grow up hating his own mom like i did.. i am super lost and super guilty to be feeling this way.. Did i force god’s hand? May be god knew that i will be unable to handle a child and therefore the infertility?
Baby ritz is 100 days old today!!!!!!