knock knock

knock knock

I am back after a hiatus of almost a month. There is no other reason for my absence except it was festive season in India and i was busy with festivities in my giant pregnant belly. The another reason I was away from the blog was now i spend most of my online time looking for things to buy for baby ritz.

In india there is a custom of not buying baby things till the baby is born – It results from the fact that the erst while india was a poor country where malnutrition was rampant and living conditions were very poor so the survival rate of babies born were low hence the practice to avoid heart ache to the new parents. I was on the edge for a very long time. i had mentioned in my earlier posts that this pregnancy has made me believe in lot of juju’s. Well i was not ready to break any age old tradition, yet i just couldnt wait and let others pick out items for my baby. So after a long struggle i caved in and once the damn broke there has been a barrage of shopping stuff for baby. This has done wonders for me to quench the anxiety that i faced around this pregnancy.

I got a list from one of my close friends who has been blessed with a baby gal this january,  so stuff i bought for baby ritz

  1. set of onsies – Bought 4 full sleeves from First cry, 5 from mother care
  2. Sleep suits – bought set of 3 from mother care
  3. Mittens, booties and caps – bought set of 4 from amazon.in
  4. quick dry sheet – brand quick dry bought 2 L and one medium from firstcry.in
  5. baby soap – bought chicco from mother care
  6. Baby massage oil – bought himalayas from babyoye
  7. Muslin squares for baby – bought 2 sets of 6 each from mothercare
  8. baby changing mat with sheet – bought from mothercare.in
  9. Baby wipes – mother care no fragnance set of 24 – 5 packs from mother care
  10. Baby travel system – Bought graco mirage travel plus – baby oye
  11. Swaddling blankets – set of 4 bought from hopscotch, set of 1 brought from mother care
  12. baby towel – bought from mother care
  13. Cotton squares – set of 6 bought from mother care

Stuff for mommy

  1. Disposable panties set of 3 – Health and glow
  2. Feeding gown – 1 from baby oye
  3. maternity bra – set of 2 from mother care
  4. disposable breast pads – set of 3 brand peagion from mother care

so last 2 weekends i have been busy shopping for baby items and sometimes i feel underwhelmed and under prepared still ­čśÇ but yeah we are getting there.

getting baby home is not that easy, there are so many things to discuss and think about, like how to sleep with the baby? do u want to co sleep or let her sleep in a crib? do u bathe her urself or get someone to massage him or her?do u prepare urself for diaper or buy nappies and do the rigamorale?

I am trying to do all the research and get myself ready, I just hope when baby ritz decide to come i am prepared! I just hope she comes on closer to her due date than before.. These days i have heard a bunch of mommies give birth to baby early l.. as early as 33rd week and yeah these kinda stories freak me out! The paranoid around this pregnancy has definitely lessened but not gone yet. Everynight i worry about doing something that wud hurt baby and bring on a onset of early labour.

I know i have spent most of my pregnancy in throes of depression, and i still worry about every little twitch or pain. But the feeling of a miracle of life inside u is amazing.. The little kicks and the flips.. i still have tough time believing download (1)

Nesting ?????

Nesting ?????

Off late I am having this weird aversion to dust or scatteredness or dirt in my house. I have no idea what to call this sudden urge to clean everything except nesting. Though according to norm nesting only appears in late second trimester or third trimester and definitely not this early. To my defense i ┬áthink it is a different form of nesting, like getting my house ready and clean before my mom comes to stay with us because if i don’t do it now then i will have to fall according to her wishes which ofcourse will lead to lot of discord and unpleasantness. So over the last few weeks i have managed to clean out an entire cupboard full of sarees and dumped them in the loft over head so that bay ritz’s grandparents can have enough place to keep their regular cloths as well as winter wear since they will be frequenting now to our place. I cleaned out a part of MR’s cupboard so that we can decide to keep baby clothes and baby things once she is out. I got all the nook and cranny of the house cleaned of any dust and fur that pista has left. This is an on going process of course and have to go for it monthly till i am 35 weeks and then ofcourse every week so that we are relatively dust free.

The place of our residence is a huge upcoming area in bangalore as a result of which there are massive constructions happening all around us. As a result the house is forever covered in dust and i cannot leave any window open w/o developing a migraine by end of the day. The only good part is all the plots around us are covered and by the time baby ritz decides to come we will be ready!!!

Pregnancy wise I am doing ok. Relatively better than few weeks ago. A baby center friend of mine has very kindly loaned us her doppler and i have been shameless using it every day w/o break sometimes even twice a day just to hear jammy galloping away. The weeks are passing slow despite my sudden burst of organising. Actually this has been a double edged sword, while 16th week of my pregnancy i spent jumping up and down and getting the house organised. 17th week was going in self doubt of whether i did too much a lower tummy ache didnt help.It had been almost 4 weeks since my NT scan and even though i heard heartbeat daily i still kept thinking about all the possibilities that could go wrong. So to cut a long story short around 16 wks 4 days i worked my self up and convinced me that something was wrong. Result we rush for a scan and unscheduled gynec appointment. Thank god for india and its medical structure i could get done both the same day a. Baby rit was absolutely fine in the scan, we could infact see different parts of her anatomy like brain, stomach, kidney, bladder and spine  . The radiologist almost did like a dry run to anamoly scan of 20th week and the gyane also said lower tummy cramps are to be expected because of uterus stretching. Baby was measuring ahead by 2days and measuring 6 ounces!!!

We go in again in 3 weeks for final anatomy scan which ofourse still freaks me out, but the intermittent scan has helped. I am seriously tempted to request my gyanec for a scan every 4 weeks as it will be important for my sanctity. Symptoms wise any symptoms of pregnancy has more or less disappeared except the ocassional gastric pains and heartburn. I am still on progesterone so my boobs continue to be tender. The thing that has increased is mood swings, i am on progesterone shots twice a week and the nurse at the clinic messed up my shots and i ended bleeding and having a wound which led to another meltdown and i kept crying for 2-3 days on that because i was in pain with my ass swollen unable to rest or sleep. Leaving that aside i have been tearing up or getting angry for smallest of reasons!!! thankfully none of the wrath has been directed at MR atleast not too much! but MR has asked me to strictly keep away from all the forums which have likely chances of fools posting on them. He also asked me to refrain from being ‘ supportive’ on whats app in the groups. Any conversation with parent units to be restricted for not more than 10 mins.

Both of us are amazed that we are almost 17 weeks pregnant yet wonder how is t possible that we still have 23 more weeks to go! time is passing at a really slow pace.

Coping..

Coping..

Its been a week since we lost baby m.. And barring occasional bouts of anxiety i am doing ok. I still have nightmares most of nights and get up sweating or i still break down into a pool of tears when i see/think ┬ásomething related to my twins but during the day i am ok. I have been keepong myself extremely occupied wih bunch of old books. Currently re reading harry potter, and watching re-runs of grey’s anatomy. Along with that i am trying to be excited about my birthday.. This will be the last bday with just 3 of us from next year we will also have baby ritz! Poor MR has been moving heaven and earth planning for it and i hope it ends up being everything he planned and i am successfull in keeping fear at bay.Needless to say i am anxious about the NT scan and pray and hope that baby ritz is doing fine.Also saturday marks 2 weeks of my last bleeding episode, its kind of scary because last time i thought we are ok when 2 weeks were over and lo behold i started to bleed. So keeping my fingers crossed that i have seen last of any bleeding for next 7 months!

Thats all that i have to say about it! Till next time